“So you attempt to hide your loneliness in public, to behave, in fact, as though you have too many friends already, and thus you hope to attract people who will unwittingly save you. But it never works that way. Your condition is written all over your face, in the hunch of your shoulders, in the hollowness of your laugh. You fool no one.”
i guess i realized i loved you the day i started praying for you when i had lost my way and hadn’t prayed for myself in months. But love isn’t supposed to hurt. so i really don’t know what this feeling is. i never thought losing you would hurt this much. i was never this person. you were the first person i gave the chance at opening my heart. believing in what could be. you spoke about seeing me in a different way, in a “im gunna marry you one day way” & it actually made me hopeful not even hopeful with the chance it could’ve been with you but hopeful that it might happen someday in general.
….& now im just hopeful for the days to come where it just hurts less and less.